Three months of staying (happily) Married - and how my past fundas of life failed here!

I have been *happily married for more than three months now. Though the initial turmoil (read as adjustment phase) is over, it has not been an easy shift. I have been always been very proud that I am extremely adaptable. I adjust to situations. I am flexible. I quickly learn and move on. And blah blah. All my past fundas of life failed when it came to marriage. 

Marriage is not just a switch in job sector, function, employer or city. Marriage is not even just about getting into a relationship with someone. It is much more complex than that. Many important variables change all of a sudden. From getting a permanent roommate to living in a strange house to following others' rules to behaving decently - life has toppled upside down, inside out, left to right and so on. 

All my married friends cautioned me about the beginning phase. They say that it takes about a few years to really adjust in a new family - to get to know them well, and for them to get to know you well. I used to laugh about such generalizations. I thought I am much more fluid and mature, so I would adjust quickly. I now realize how stupid I was. Infact, I now feel that it might take a lifetime to really get to know all - because human beings are dynamic creatures. The system is continuously evolving where everyone around is changing, adjusting, discovering, evolving, including myself. 

I have been reflecting over the changes in my own behavior over the last few months. I am miles away from my comfort zone. Many times, I am myself not sure why I react to a situation in a particular way. I am still discovering my own nature. Sometimes there are reasonably understandable patterns, and sometimes just an erratic combo of weird reactions. Kudos to my husband for bearing with my changing moods, immature handling of situations, nonsensical dramas and so on. And hats off to me for bearing with his weird habits of keeping the cans open, not turning off the geyser switch, not knowing how to operate the washing machine and so on.

Anyway, I have had some amazing learnings which I would like to share -

1. It's okay to fail on others' expectations and it's okay for others to not meet your expectations.

2. Give it a lot of time. Don't be in any hurry for anything.

3. People around you are trying their best to make you feel comfortable. 

4. Segregate people from situations - most times challenges are due to generational gaps, not with people. 

5. Find your "me" time and "fav spot" at home and make it a habit to go there once/twice everyday. 

6. Don't take yourself or anyone too seriously. Don't listen to your friends if they sound negative. Don't read stuff that you find depressing. 

I do hope that my readers find this a lovely post that can give them a boost. If you are having a hard time in your married life, trust me you are not alone. All those facebook and instagram posts from your friends from their lavish vacations are just fluff. Behind those camera clicks are infinite dramas. Your life is beautiful in its own boring, unhappening, stupid ways — have fun and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, ever!

My all time mantra is - One day at a time. Don't worry about future. If today has been a beautiful day, thank your partner and have an awesome sex! 

--- Marvelous Mrs Mittal

Do share your thoughts as you unravel the magic of staying happy in your married life!!!! ;-)

Comments

  1. Unknown27 February 2021 at 20:46

    Wonderful Post Swati :) I completely agree with you, one should live life as it comes. Neve have too many expectations or compare yourself with others. I always believe overthinking and over- expecting from partners will leave us dissatisfied. Always give yourselves time, ME time is the best vacation that you can give yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shailendra28 February 2021 at 04:07

    Wonderful written 👌👌

    ReplyDelete

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